Joshua Lee (Confirmation)
I grew up in a Christian household. Because I was born into a Christian family, I have never known what it is like to be outside the Christian world. Before I became a Christian, I was self-absorbed and concerned only about my own personal accomplishments and achievements. To those around me, I was a good student and viewed as a good person.
However, one of the things that many people do not know about me is that I was addicted to online video games. I was consumed with video games, such as League of Legends, Rocket League, and others. I stayed up to 3 AM on school nights playing video games, pretending to go to sleep and then waking up after my parents were asleep to play. I would wake up late for school, and when my parents suspected that something suspicious was happening, I lied to them and hid my video game addiction. Sometimes I even hid in the basement to satisfy my addiction to online games. There were times when I used my lunch money to play online games or buy cosmetics. You could say that video games were my idol. They were the only thing in my life that made me feel happy at the time.
While I was leading a double life, I didn’t think I was doing anything bad. However, because I was staying up so late to play online games, I regularly fell asleep during the sermons on Sundays at church. I knew then that something was wrong, and that I had fallen into the sin of idolizing video games. I was living a lie as a dutiful son on one hand and a video game addict on the other.
Last summer an event happened, where I feel God helped me to realize that my addiction to video games was a sin. My closest friend from school happened to tell me one day that his father died of cancer a number of months before. I felt so guilty because he was my best friend, but I was so self-absorbed with my own life that I did not even have time to ask him how he or his family were doing. As I look back now, even then, I was blinded by online games and when I wasn’t playing video games, I was too busy trying to catch up on stuff or too tired to care. I realized that my soul was numb and my spiritual eyes were not open.
When I learned about the death of my best friend’s father, I cried because for the first time in a long time, my concern went outside of my own video game intoxicated life to show concern for another. I cried because my friend would never see his father again or benefit from his guidance. It was the first time that I cried since entering high school. I realized that, due to my self-centredness and wanting to please my addictions, I ignored God. I ignored the fact that if I did not accept Christ into my heart, I would go to hell.
What happened to my friend could happen to anyone. However, Jesus took my sins onto himself and even though I am a sinner, I know that we can have eternal salvation. I am grateful that God has chosen me to be His son even though I am a sinner and did nothing to deserve this gift of grace. I am filled with guilt because I had been going to church my whole life, but I did not have the conviction to witness to my best friend. I am filled with remorse because his father will never have the opportunity to seek Christ.
I am thankful for this opportunity to confirm my faith through which my own eyes have been opened. I must live a life that is pleasing to God and witness to those around me through my thoughts, words, and actions every day. I think this journey will not be easy, but as a Christian, I have a Heavenly Father who goes with me wherever I am. He knows what I am feeling before I feel it. He knows what I need before I know my own needs. I hope to grow my relationship with God by praying and reading the Bible daily, and listening to His instruction through his Word.
