Liana Li (Confirmation)
Before coming to Christ, I felt unanchored and adrift, always searching for some revelation, truth for my purpose here on earth. It was like being stranded in the middle of the ocean, desperately searching for land, but only relying on myself to get there. As a child, raised Catholic, I was brought up learning about all the facts of the beliefs, but there were always uncertainties, doubts and questions I wanted answered. Hence, I desperately tried to seek them out, but by only listened to my own desires and I only lived life the way I wanted to. I hadn’t fully accepted God and Jesus Christ into my life and many times rejected Him.
Until one day, I felt the conviction of my sins. Then, everything dawned on me and I felt a sense of relief and joy all at the same time. I realized that I had been rejecting God and Christ this whole time when I thought I had accepted them. It was after I had moved to teach in China, away from my family and friends. I was excited to begin a new journey of my life and to learn more about my historic and cultural roots, but then I started to feel homesick and a bit out of place in the first year. Then, during one of the educational workshops, there sparked a sudden change in my heart. I realized what I missed wasn’t just my family and friends, it was God. In the midst of feeling alone, I realized I had been struggling with my biggest sin of all, denying my relationship with Jesus Christ – God.
After coming to this conclusion, I immediately felt comfort and joy, however, because I knew God was right by my side all along and since then, I’ve wanted to begin my journey of repentance and faith. First, I began looking for a church and community of followers and I was surprised to find a Church in the city of Shenzhen, China! I was even more delighted to hear that I could volunteer in the Children’s Catechism classes where I began to revisit my foundational beliefs. So, I did. I travelled many countries and went to every church I passed by, until I met a Christian traveller in Australia. She was like an angel sent from heaven and she gave me even greater clarity and eagerness that I wanted to trust in Jesus Christ again. So, I came back to Canada so grateful for my opportunities. I wanted to continue to strengthen my faith in God still and that was when I met my fiancé, who I discovered was Christian. I trusted in God that this person was sent to me so that I could know Christ more. We found City on a Hill together, where we hoped to continue our faith journey and there, I met Pastor Woohyun, Pastor Peter, and now, Pastor Tim, who has walked me through these past couple of Confirmation classes, and I have never felt this close to God ever.
With the utmost gratitude, I feel blessed that I am saved, by God’s grace. I attest that He sent Jesus, His only Son, who lived a perfect and sinless life, and then made the biggest sacrifice of all, to be the Lamb and penalty for our sins. I am so grateful that He conquered sin for us, since He was resurrected and rose to heaven, where one day I will be with God.
Since becoming a Christian, I no longer feel lost and ungrounded. Of course, I am still a sinner and try my best to be less self-centered and more God-centered, but I now see that when I was drifting in the middle of the ocean, I was never alone. I was just unaware of the tools I was already given, like a plank or a nail and a hammer, and that I just needed to figure out how to piece it together. In Christ, I have life and hope and since coming to this realization, I have felt so much joy that I strongly desire to share my journey with all my friends and family. I have the most urgency now than ever to understand God’s word and how I can grow in my relationship with Him, by following in Jesus’ footsteps, his life and teachings, since He made it possible. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Also, I hope to maintain this fervour I have because I know it takes much more than to say I am saved. This is only the beginning and the fruit of my salvation has just bloomed.