As a child growing up in a Catholic household, going to church on Sundays, and attending a Catholic elementary and high school, I believed and learned about God and Jesus. I learned of how we are born with sin and how Jesus died for our sins and saved us from eternal damnation. I was taught some Biblical theology, the parables, the commandments, the beatitudes, and taught it was good to pray before sleeping. I would volunteer for Sunday school and teach younger children about God. However, all of these actions felt like they were a routine, similar to how a chore needs to be done.
When I attended university, I wanted to explore and make my own choices in life. As I joined several clubs on campus, I stumbled upon the Korean Christian Fellowship club. First, I thought that this club would be a great way to meet Korean people on campus, but as I kept attending the weekly meetings, I felt a sense of fellowship and this fellowship was centered on God. Listening to the guest speakers talk about the Gospel and Jesus and conversing with other followers of Christ, I came to understand that Jesus is my one and only Saviour. I came to understand that He is waiting for us to turn away from our sinful nature and turn to Him and be with Him. This fueled the drive in me to want to build a more intimate and personal relationship with Jesus. I felt more love and security than I had ever felt prior.
After university and finding a job in Toronto, I started to make my career aspirations the focal point of my life. Trying to be successful and having my dream job were my only priorities. I made excuse upon excuse to skip church. As the days went by, I felt a growing guilt build up inside and felt a void in my life. A friend reached out to me and invited me to attend his church. As I kept going to church and praying, I realized that I had shut Jesus out of my life and I was looking for His love. My sinful manners were blinding me from seeing His love and were hindering my relationship with Him. I should have given all of myself to Him and surrendered to Him instead of relying on a false sense of security. I am still a sinner in many ways, but through His loving grace, I am saved.
As I continue reading His Word and pray, I am further developing my relationship with Him. I continue to seek out his love and spread His love to those around me. Matthew 22:37-39 says,
37 Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’